Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tipsy Self Love

Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

I am excited about this prompt! I love to talk about myself.
I also often think about how different I am from other people.
Because I am. I'm strange.
I don't often think about how being strange makes me beautiful. So here goes:

I love that I don't wear make-up and I'm still HOT! For most of my life I haven't had a problem getting dates. The natural me is beautiful. I don't have to cover up imperfections in order to step out in public.

Sometimes I wear strange outfits, too. I stand out at the office a lot because we have such a causal dress code and I like to dress up. I'm comfortable in skirts and bright colors. I'm beautiful because I stand out.

I'm not just about my looks. I've been known to not care much about the way I look. In fact, once I shaved my head just because it's damn hot here in the summer and I wanted to be comfortable. I was NOT any less beautiful. I think I might have actually been more beautiful due to how much more often I smiled.

These things seem so minor compared to what I feel like is a glaringly obvious difference between me and the rest of the world: I feel weak. For most of my life as I struggle with depression the struggle seems so public and obvious. I've always felt like I can't handle myself or my emotions or my problems as well as anyone else because I always seem to be publicly falling apart in one way or another: getting sad for no apparent reason, having panic attacks, talking too fast because I'm nervous, or calling in sick because I'm overwhelmed.

What I've realized over the years is that I'm not actually weaker than anyone else. Everyone is weak in one way or another. The beautiful difference between me and everyone else is that I show my weakness. Showing weakness takes bravery, and bravery is beautiful.

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