Sunday, June 23, 2013

Love Poem

Sometimes everything comes into vivid clarity:
The rabbit, staring at me from the bedroom floor;
Your name, on my computer screen;
The poem I just read that must have been written for me;
And how much I love all of it; so much
That my heart cracks in two for lack of room
To hold all the fresh blood I’m pumping.
Thick lines hold everything outside of my body
In place. Nothing can run over or away
And all feels content. But:

It is in these moments that I miss you the most;
You, who would not just understand but share,
Who could draw out colors to reach their fullest potential
Who could make an already full moment
Burst into a second life;
It is the obvious lack of you in these
Otherwise perfect moments, in these times when
I feel most alive, it is your complete absence
That brings me to my knees with doubt;
Questioning my effort to be a whole person
With only one body to use.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


Some girls learn how to relate to people
By playing with dolls: glassy eyed, human
Shaped plastic pieces that can’t be broken
When you whisper too hard in their ear; practice
Specimens for getting dressed, cooking dinner,
Endeavoring to charm someone into loving you
Unconditionally. It is no wonder that we accept
Sturdy, straight backed hugs and blank stares for
Affection; this is the response we got from our first loves.

I still remember the crowd of porcelain dolls perched
On a shelf across my bedroom like spectators
In a coliseum. At their feet I learned that people
Are pretty and quiet and meant to be kept clean; not
Even the ground should bother their shoes with dust.  When
I offered my juvenile insecurities to their lily ears
One of them jumped, shattered like a rumor in the carpet
Where I stepped on shards for years to come. So I learned
That people are fragile and disapproving and I should step lightly,
I should hold my breath so that no one ever breaks.