Ayn Rand first tipped me off to the virtues of selfishness when I discovered her in the back corner of a used bookstore in high school. I read Atlas Shrugged and thought, "This goes against everything I've ever believed in but it makes so much sense".
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The wisest decision I made this year is to finally embrace this idea that selfishness can be rewarding both to myself and everyone I come in contact with.I did this in a number of ways:
- Letting go of harmful relationships
- Spending more time by myself
- Saying "no" more often
- Speaking up for my wants and needs
- Choosing to be nice to myself instead of harming myself
- Spending more time on things I WANT to do and less time on things I feel like I "have" to do
For most of my life I've felt like I need to put everyone and everything else in my life before myself. Whenever I would choose to do something beneficial for myself instead of putting someone else first, I was served with a large dose of GUILT and SELF-DISGUST. I feared that thinking about myself or helping myself was a Sin the likes of which made Jesus cry.
The truth is, self care and healthy selfishness has produced quite the opposite result. In fact, once I think I even felt Jesus pat me on the back.
I am healthier and happier and as a result I am living a more productive life.
It turns out that, during all those years that I was worried about serving other people, the best and most effective thing I could have done was to take care of myself first.
For me, it was "the fountainhead", discovered in high school while pursuing a scholarship. It was very affirming. I had always described myself as a selfish person. Ayn Rand put into words for me, what I had already internally understood about myself. Still to this day, I do not hestitate to tell people, first and foremost, I am a selfish person. Thank you for your thought provoking post. I am very happy you have emraced the positives of selfishness with such rewarding results! I love that you were moved to write this particularly thought on this particular day.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Emily. I'm on a similar path. It's the self-respect and self-love that truly propels us outward and forward.
ReplyDeleteTotally on target! Congrats on realizing that you can only care for others as well as you care for yourself. I came to the same conclusion myself a few years ago, and it was one of the best discoveries of my life.
ReplyDeleteLove this.
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