This past November, I experienced a Cancer Scare. I was told that some "abnormal" cells had been found and that in two weeks I would have to come in for a biopsy. As you might expect, I spent those two weeks thinking about what my life would be like if I were faced with a life threatening disease. What would I do differently if my life span were clearly shortened?
This is when I learned an important lesson about myself: I am already living my life the way I want to.
During the two weeks of The Great Cancer Scare of 2010, I realized that there was very little I would change about my life. I'm not sure I would even quit my job. I didn't feel the need to plan some grand adventure or go running off to go sky diving. I didn't make a bucket list.
This isn't to say that my life is perfect, that I don't need to grow or that there aren't a million things I wouldn't like to try. It's just to say that I am improving my life, growing, and trying things at my own pace. I make the most of my life every day.
I live my life not based on the fear of death but based on the fact that I'm living.
Going forward, I'm going to continue my self-improvement and exploration of life at my own pace. I may be going slowly and my life might not be very exciting at the moment, but I feel that I'm doing things the right way for me. I'm going to continue going to therapy, taking care of myself, and fighting off my fears. I'm going to continue to excel at my job, and volunteer, and maintain the valuable relationships I have. I will travel...when I'm ready.
Oh, and by the way, I don't have cancer.
Wooo hooooo on each and every level!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean about living the way you are living because that's the way you love to live.... people pose that "What if you won the lotto?" and I say, "Well, I wouldn't want any significant change. I like things the way they are...."
And fantastic news about the no cancer.
Keep excelling. Because you are alive... what a gift!
My Reverb posts may be found here.