Socially Anxious Poetry

#22/30

I started by cowering in the back of the room

Mouth open in awe of the woman before me:

She spoke my mind without ever meeting me,

She spoke her experiences to life,

She spoke.

I started by crying in the back of the room:

I could have written that myself

But I didn’t.

I walk through every day afraid of

The next moment someone will speak to me.

Kind words or not, human interaction is terrifying.

Drugged up or not, I have no idea what to say

When you smile and greet me.

I may have strong opinions and the words to share them

I may be talented at all the things I try

But the only thing that matters in the moment is that

I can’t catch my breath.

Yet, here I am! Alone, onstage, barely breathing,

Because I found power in poetry and I propelled myself forward;

I found healing in yelling my thoughts before an engrossed

Audience; FINALLY someone is listening, finally, someone is

Hearing me and cheering me on, finally, I don’t need a surrogate,

Finally, I AM MY OWN VOICE.

I walk through each day with my eyes lowered

Afraid of the vulnerability of eye contact. I flinch when

Someone tries to hold my hand, I don’t know
How to deal with a compliment. But,

I have meaningful ideas and I have found the words to share them.

I stepped in front of a crowd without a bullet proof vest and I

Emerged with lungs of steel and a voice like a siren and I

Will continue to shout from the stage

For myself

And for the person cowering in the back of the room, waiting

For their chance to come to life.