Thursday, November 4, 2010

Wait, I have a blog?

I’ve been absent for a while, but I’d like to start writing again and sharing my writing with others. I don’t have a specific purpose for this blog; I just want to use it to communicate and share with others. So, with that in mind, here is a post about where I’ve been lately:

A few months ago someone posted this viral video on Facebook.

The words, I think began to peel away layers from a struggle that has been building within me. It helped me to realize that, yes, I am afraid of being alone and that, yes, I am currently feeling incredibly lonely. I’m going through a time where many of my friends are moving or settling down or working hard and my social life is not what it once was or what I might desire it to be. I’ve been allowing these facts to paralyze me.

“Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.”

Tanya’s quiet, calm words were a catalyst. I began to stop struggling against the inevitable thinning of my social life that has come from starting over in a new city at an age where everyone is moving and everything is changing quickly. I began to accept that it is not my fault that I am lonely; I have done my best, now I need to let others live their lives.

“You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.”

So instead of moping because I’m not out socializing every day of the week I have decided to embrace loneliness. I am using the time for growth, and to learn to slow down and to enjoy life more. I’m taking this poem as my anthem, letting Tanya’s words be a comforting blanket encouraging me to embrace my time with myself.

“But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.”

This is not to say that I no longer WANT a social life. I’m simply beginning to discover and enjoy the healing freedom that can come from loneliness.

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