Finally, on Kerry Ann's last night in Tucson, we went dancing. I dressed up, I drank, I danced. But after only an hour I began to get tired and frustrated with the crowd. By the time we were ready to leave I was full blown grumpy.
I am disappointed and a little sad. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time. But the time I spent with Kerry Ann in Tucson drew attention to how much I've changed since I felt a surge of courage and moved across the country two years ago. I often found myself explaining, "I'm a lot different than I used to be" while feeling apologetic and confused.
I know I've wrestled long and hard with my problems over the last two years and this fight is probably what has made me so anxious and withdrawn. But I was also under the impression that I was healing and that I still knew how to have fun. I guess I still have a long way to go.