Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Emotional Eating

I am going to tell you that I am trying to lose weight, and you are probably going to tell me I'm crazy.

So let me phrase this in a different way: I am trying to change my relationship with food.

I don't have an eating disorder but I've spent some time in therapy recently talking about food. I don't see food as a necessary nourishment; I see it as something to fear. I fear eating too much food and becoming unhealthy and overweight; I also fear eating too little and having to deal with the shaky nauseous feeling of being too hungry.

On a related note, I've been learning about how much extra emotional weight I've taken on over the years. I worry too much. It seems that this extra weight has taken on a physical form in my stomach and legs: I'm physically heavier than I've ever been. I eat to assuage my fears and emotional concerns, and the heavy emotional burdens I take on begin to show.

This is not a diet. My goal is to be able to utilize food in a healthy way and in doing so have a healthier body and self image. In the process, I hope to lose unnecessary emotional burdens and develop healthier coping skills. This is another step toward self love.

Food should be enjoyed, not attacked.

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