So let me phrase this in a different way: I am trying to change my relationship with food.
I don't have an eating disorder but I've spent some time in therapy recently talking about food. I don't see food as a necessary nourishment; I see it as something to fear. I fear eating too much food and becoming unhealthy and overweight; I also fear eating too little and having to deal with the shaky nauseous feeling of being too hungry.
On a related note, I've been learning about how much extra emotional weight I've taken on over the years. I worry too much. It seems that this extra weight has taken on a physical form in my stomach and legs: I'm physically heavier than I've ever been. I eat to assuage my fears and emotional concerns, and the heavy emotional burdens I take on begin to show.
|Food should be enjoyed, not attacked.|