Sometimes everything
comes into vivid clarity:
The rabbit, staring at me from the bedroom floor;
Your name, on my computer screen;
The poem I just read that must have been written for me;
And how much I love all of it; so much
That my heart cracks in two for lack of room
To hold all the fresh blood I’m pumping.
Thick lines hold everything outside of my body
In place. Nothing can run over or away
And all feels content. But:
It is in these moments that I miss you the most;
You, who would not just understand but share,
Who could draw out colors to reach their fullest potential
Who could make an already full moment
Burst into a second life;
It is the obvious lack of you in these
Otherwise perfect moments, in these times when
I feel most alive, it is your complete absence
That brings me to my knees with doubt;
Questioning my effort to be a whole person
With only one body to use.